You know when you've been Tangoed.

If you are the kind of person I discuss my worries with, especially regarding my appearance, you will notice that I have been talking about the paleness of my skin for the past couple of weeks, what with the impending long summer almost upon us.

Upon us - but not upon my legs, or arms, or back, or any of me really. I look like a human milk bottle. Well, looked.

This weekend, seeing as Bekah gave me a lovely discount voucher for Superdrug (and it was BOGOF anyway), I decided to purchase a bottle of Johnson's 'Holiday Skin' body lotion.

The bottle itself reads:

New improved

As natural as your own tan

• Gradually builds a flawless, even tan
• 24 hour moisturisation
• Improved fragrance

I don't know which planet Mr. Johnson has been living on, but most people's 'natural tan' is not orange. This morning, I woke up looking like I'd had a knee transplant with an oompa loompa, and with more yellowish patches than a giraffe. Gradual? I think not. Flawless and even? I seriously think not!

Because of this, I had to go into school wearing leggings with my long, floaty skirt. Maybe next time I'll think before applying anything with the word 'tan' on the bottle.